Happy Holidays (Summer Version)

Hi,

John here. If you’re reading this, then congratulations! I have a lot of great prizes in store. Well, not really. A prize is usually a reward with some value. All I have are these announcements and ramblings:

First off, the band has been on a little bit of a dormant period. That’s my fault, partly. I’ve been hard at work at several things, but primarily the one worth mentioning is a new solo album that should be out in October of 2018. The other reason is that the band is currently in that awkward teenage phase of “You don’t know me, mom!” Well not really, we’re just currently short a drummer. Which is fine. Sal and I will have some music coming at you soon enough. If that was one of your concerns, then fear not! I’ve always got some songs up my sleeves.

Second, Cloud Tapes been jamming with a band called Seldomo. It’s not a supergroup because that would assume we’re both bands with millions of fans – and who’s to say we’re not? Oh right, that would be me. But anyway, we’ve been jamming and we’re possibly playing a show as a Dr. Frankenstein’s monster version of both of our bands. More news on that to come.

Third, as mentioned above Sal and I possibly have some songs (2 at the very least) that we’ll be sharing this summer. We’re sorting out what we want to do with that. But it’s exciting since it’s not like the first album, or the second album, or the EP. As time goes on, I think people are starting to get the impression that I don’t know how to write the same song over and over in a band. Maybe that’s why we’re still living off of pizza and burritos and not eating at Guy Fieri’s restaurants. I should start listening to some Nickelback for inspiration. Yeah…that’s what I should do.

Fourth, it’s hard to evoke irony and sarcasm online so please take don’t take this message at face-value. I repeat, I do not like Nickelback. I do, however, want to go to a Guy Fieri restaurant just so I can walk up to him and say, “Bam! Oh wait, wrong guy? Er… I mean, your name is Guy, so you’re the right Guy, in a sense. But I just mean you’re the wrong male humanoid that is known for that phrase…”

To wrap this rambling post up, I just want to say this band is not going anywhere anytime soon. Literally, we’re – to quote Elliott Smith – going nowhere. I have a lot of excitement and songs in store for those of you that care. The next Cloud Tapes album is going to be darker and pretty damn brooding and emotional. That’s all I want to say about that. But it should be a pretty ambitious project.

I don’t have a Facebook account anymore, for the time being, so if you want to specifically say something to me then I’m sorry. You’re S out of L for the time being. But don’t worry. I’ll be back. I’m a millennial and the lack of the pseudo-contentment that the parasite known as social media will kick in soon enough where I’ll be crawling back like a scorned lover. By the way, do you like how I said I’d stop rambling? ha. I’m an idiot.

See ya later. Thanks for reading my novel.

-John

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